Christmas Shoes

I have had little time to do any Christmas preparation but have taken a few moments myself for some quiet reflection this holiday season. I have delayed putting up my Christmas tree this year; I originally wanted to blame procrastination, but have realized that my hesitation has been sprinkled with a bit of bitter-sweetness. It was my mom's most special time of the year. She adored her Christmas tree so much and it was something we did together. I was the only one she trusted to handle her most prized possessions. I blamed God for a long time for taking her from me so young. From taking both of them from my sister and I. What was the purpose? The lesson? Then I realized, their short time on earth with us was not a  punishment but yet a gift. I keep coming back to just being thankful for the time I had with them. I miss them both terribly, but this time of year meant so much to my family. 
I remember my father telling us stories after my sister and I were grown about how he would stay up all night putting our Santa gifts together. When I was four, my parents bought me a my little pony castle. It was exquisite and each petal of every flower had to be snapped together and assembled by hand. My dad stayed up all night long putting all of my flowers in my garden and he had been in bed for about ten minutes when my sister and I rounded the corner and woke them up because "Santa" came.  
My parents had to work hard to trick us, especially me, I was sneaky!  We were nosy, snoopy, and couldn't stand the waiting and anticipation of Christmas morning.  Our parents had to hide our stuff at my aunt's house until the middle of the night and my dad would have to leave out and go pick it up and carefully lug everything in quietly without waking us; and as most children, Amber and I never slept on Christmas Eve, especially me, I was a light sleeper. I remember we would up all night watching for Santa and listening for reindeer hooves and jingle bells - and I always heard them (that is part of the magic of Christmas)! When we were finally exhausted our little eyes would finally flutter until we would drift away for just a few minutes before we woke up and realized Santa came. 
Santa always came for us. He never let us down. My parents never let us down.  Even after we were grown, they both knew we didn't believe anymore and we knew they knew but we all still followed the tradition because it was Christmas. Now that they are gone, those memories are so much more precious to me. I was working and had the radio playing one of my favorite stations that plays Christmas songs from December 1 until Christmas and this song came on.  I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. My parents sacrificed so much for us their entire lives and I will always come back to being thankful, not only that they birthed me, but I had the pleasure of knowing them, the honor of being theirs, and will forever be blessed that they were a part of my life, even if for just a little while.