Spiritual Gifts

So today I took a quiz on spiritual gifts, two of them actually just to see what my gifts are. Little did I know, venturing into looking for my strengths would also indicate my weaknesses.

I was halfway shocked to find my actual gifts (discernment, prophecy, help/mercy) but to find what my spiritual weaknesses are (faith, discipleship, and evangelism). The thing I have been trying to live on (Faith) was my weakest link.

I had a slight incident on Wednesday, January 9, 2013 that would forever change my world. I made a choice (good, bad, or indifferent it was my choice), I was honest about that choice, and then all of a sudden, everything is different. My life as I knew it, at the time, was crumbling and I panicked. I was so deep in the storm, I couldn't see the rain for the clouds. The what I perceived to be "negative" consequences of that choice suddenly gave me clarity. God really is in control! For so many years, I have been living out of fear and not by faith. God is showing me (the hard way of course) that if I don't live by faith voluntarily, that he will make me live by faith without my choice.

I had several factors that would change my decisions about the future that have been rocking my apple cart for sometime, but I was refusing to allow things to happen out of fear. I live day by day in a constant tail spin trying to make plans for my future. You know what they say, if you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans.  It hit me like a ton of bricks! I have no control. As much as I feel like I need to control every aspect of every situation, I have absolutely zero say in how this plays out. At this point, all I can do is sit back, hold on, and enjoy the ride.