Growing up, I was my grandpa's shadow. I was at his house every weekend and tried desperately to be there every weekday, but mom wouldn't let me because they had to work too. I was little, I didn't care.. I'd go to work with him!! I had this little red suitcase that said "Going to Grandma's" that I always had ready and I brought with me. If he wasn't home, I'd climb up into his seat on the couch and wait for him, impatiently of course! When I first started staying over, my grandmother fussed when I'd try to sleep with them because I never required much sleep (even as an infant) and only slept about 4 hours so I tossed and turned a lot or just sat there and entertained myself. He would sleep in the back bedroom with me and would let me toss and turn to my heart's content! He never complained. When I got comfortable got still and comfortable, he would hold me until I fell asleep. He adored me and I adored him.
My grandparents lived about 5 minutes from my elementary school. So when I started kindergarden and throughout elementary school, papaw would check me and my sister out early and pick us up in one of his classic convertible cars; we would all go to Sonic for peanut butter milkshakes and drive around. We always ended up at the River and he always brought bread to feed the ducks and we would sit and talk about our days at school. Amber is 3 years older, so by the time I was in 3-4th grade, she was already in the middle school across town, so it was just me, which was JUST FINE with me! 😁 I remember him always laughing and smiling. We always had so much fun. Every summer, we would always eat watermelon on the back patio and during the really hot months, he would make the best homemade peach ice cream. It was always my favorite. He always made it from fresh peaches and even as an adult, it's my favorite fruit. During peach season, I go through a couple of 25 lb boxes every summer.
He would detail his vintage cars and while he was waxing them, I would be cleaning the inside. Whatever he was doing, so was I. We always had such a great time together. If I was sick, he would go to the only local gas station that served ice cream by the scoop and pick up a scoop of Mint Chocolate Chip. I clearly remember the white foam bowls they would put them in with the lid and he would bring them to me and sit and watch TV with me and hold me until I fell asleep for the night. EVERY single time. He bought me a horse because I loved them so much. He taught me to drive. He was the first man to ever have my heart.
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Papaw,
I always thought the moment that I could start counting your passing as years instead of months or weeks, or even days would make it that much easier. The truth is time has not filled the hole in my heart that losing you has caused. My heart has just expanded and made room for the pain.
I've been extremely emotional this week as July 10 is 6 years that he's been gone but my grandfather (Papaw) has been so prevalent in showing himself around me. I see him. I feel him. I miss him... so much it hurts. When he left this world, so did a piece of my heart.
A week ago, I had a colonoscopy and was doing my prep. I was so scared because I've been having a lot of problems and was unsure of what they would find... and felt him walk past me and I saw him - the soft white spirit I saw leave his body when he passed. Two days after the procedure, my sister and I drove to our hometown to take my service dog to the vet and we stopped at Kay's Castle..
Side Note to explain the significance of Kay's castle, a mom and pop place. We grew up going to this little place. It's so small, they still only take cash. It's the typical old diner that has the menu made out of the white board with the black letters individually stuck on and the price in red letters next to it. They have other stuff like Nachos and hotdogs, but everyone who knows about the place knows, you come for their incredible ice cream. Baskin Robbins -- EAT YOUR HEART OUT!! They have probably 20 or so flavors of homemade, creamy, fresh ice cream. It's nothing fancy where they whip out a waffle iron and make you a waffle cone on the spot or anything, but it's just good, old fashioned country comfort. My dad's dad "Butch" (died in 1992) use to go get chemo at a hospital that was an hour away. On the way back, we would always stop into this little diner for ice cream. My other papaw, would also take all of the grandkids there too. I got the peach.. When I tasted it.. It was my Papaw's peach ice cream. I cried.
Growing up, my papaw had a chocolate lab and I've been looking at what my next breed of service dog will be and was in my room talking to my sister and we were going thru different breeds.. When we said "chocolate lab" - my google assistant on my phone said his name, literally said "Harold" and his name popped up on my screen and she said read it out loud.
I miss him so much, but I know he's with me.
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