In October, we received a call from Johnny's sister Nicole that her and Bobby's mother (Kathy - who took care of Johnny when he was a toddler before Bobby and Nicole were every born) was passing away in Minnesota and wanted to make sure we knew. Minnesota was 1,000 miles away from where we live (one-way) and his brother Bobby, halfway between Chattanooga, TN and Rochester, MN (Chicago, IL area) would not have a way to get there unless we picked him up on our way, so we did. We made the trip out of faith, not sure we could even afford to go but God made it happen and we were all blessed because of it. We wanted to go. Not only so Johnny could pay his respects to her for being a mother to him for a short while when she didn't have to be, but for him to be there for his brother and sister during this difficult (and as I know from my own personal experience) life-changing event.
Johnny, Bobby, and Nicole have the same father but were not raised together in the same household - Bobby and Nicole were, but Johnny was not. Johnny was older than the other children and had a different mother. For some reason or another, Johnny had kept in closer contact with Bobby than Nicole. Johnny and Nicole both had circumstances that played roles in them not being close growing up that were out of their control. When we made the trip to Minnesota (lovingly referred by me as Minne-snow-da) the trip was bitter sweet. It was an unfortunate circumstantial meeting that would play a crucial part in our future. It was closing a chapter for all of the kids in losing their mother but a whole new experience of us having the opportunity to get to know them.
In our four day unplanned excursion, we were able to spend time with Nicole and Ken and lay the foundation for us to form closer bonds in the future. We are all getting to know each other as adults. Nicole is married to a wonderful man of God, husband, and father (Ken) and they have been together for ten years and Johnny was already married to me for approximately 10 years when Johnny/Nicole reunited so it is as if we are all four getting a chance to get to know each other and to form this beautiful, yet necessary bond that will allow each of us growth as individuals. The wonderful thing about it is we (both couples) have so much in common as in relationship dynamics, spiritual beliefs, and personalities that we have become great friends as well as family. For me, it has created this kindred-ness of being brothers/sisters in Christ and given us the opportunity to explore this new sense of family that has not always been possible. Ken and Nicole have this incredible son named Carter who is just the cutest thing and such a gentle spirit. I can't wait to see him grow up! Nicole and I recently discovered face-time on Ken's iPod and my iPhone and have graduated to Gmail video chat, so its like we can have face to face conversations even though we are 800 miles away.
I was so blessed today because I was able to talk to both Ken and Nicole for 3 hours over video chat and they were able to give me some spiritual advice/guidance from someone my age who has had similar experiences and they were able to give me some insight into my own reflection that really helped me begin to heal. I really did spend some of the last few hours of 2012 in deep reflection of myself, my circumstances, and in a safe emotional place that I could really make some changes for the new year.
Ken talked to me about building the foundation of great relationships with spouses/God together is like a triangle foundation of Alignment, Commitment, and Accountability at the top. His graphic was a little lacking so I made an improvement for him ;-)
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